Plan Cheer-Up-Frau
by Reina Ariadne
Summary: Frau is depressed (reason enclosed in story XD) over something, and it's causing Teito to miss him. He comes up with a plan together with Castor, Labrador and Lance in order to cheer him up. No yaoi pairings in this fic.
1. Chapter 1

**07-Ghost**

**Disclaimer: Don't own**

**Genre: Humour, slight bit of Comfort**

**Characters: Frau, Teito, Castor, Labrador, Lance**

**Summary: Frau is feeling depressed (reason enclosed in story ;p). Teito, with the help from the other three bishops, comes up with a plan to cheer Frau up.**

**A/n: This is another idea which has been running around in my head for quite some time before I finally decided to type it out into a story. Expect much Teito tsundere-ness, and the "utter and complete humiliation" of poor Castor. He's actually my favourite character XD**

* * *

Frau and Teito were in the library, Teito turning the well-worn pages of a book about Raggs history, and Frau secretively turning the pages of a porn magazine hidden inside a book with a similar cover beside him. Suddenly, Frau closed the book, set it beside him, then sighed and stared out of the window, his expression glum.

Teito stared at him in shock. Just when he was finally getting used to feeling like a criminal whenever the bishop (a _bishop_, no less!) was "indulging in his favourite pastime" beside him in the library, Frau lost all interest in his porn magazines?! Something was definitely wrong.

* * *

-One hour later-

"Er... Frau? Hello? You listening?" Teito asked, waving a hand in front of his face.

"Yeah... You wanted to know if I love Castor. Sure I do. Now leave me alone." Frau stood and left for his room, not sparing even a backward glance.  
Teito stared after him. "I told him that the lunch bell had rung... How the hell did it become a question of if he loved Castor-san or not?!" Teito muttered, blushing a bright red.

But even he could see that Frau was distracted and not acting like himself. What on earth was going on?!  
"Oh, so its that time of the year again," Castor said, staring in the direction where Frau had gone. He had arrived at the library planning to catch Frau in the act of reading porn magazines so that he could confiscate them.  
"Time of... The year? What do you mean, Castor-san?" Teito asked, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Zehel has the power of cutting the bonds which tie people's hearts to misfortune. So at a certain unknown time each year, Zehel will suddenly feel the burden of all the misfortune which he has separated from human souls, which latches onto him after he cuts them off from their hosts," Labrador had come up behind Castor, smiling gently as he relayed the information.

"Well, he'll be back to normal in a week or so, not to worry. We'd better go to the cafeteria before we missed lunch," Castor sniffed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he turned to leave with a rustle of his robes.  
"Come on Teito-kun, we should go too. Try not to think too much about Frau," Labrador smiled as he ushered Teito towards the cafeteria.  
Teito nodded and followed Labrador, but not before looking back and staring in the direction of Frau's room.

_...Burden of misfortunes?_

* * *

**A/n: That part about Zehel and "burden of misfortunes is not true, I made it up myself. It was NOT in the manga/anime! Pretty short chapter, actually. I was hoping it would be longer... But anyway, this was just to tell you about what Frau was getting his depression from. I was not hinting at a FrauxCastor pairing unfortunately xD The real fun starts the next chapter, which I will upload immediately after this... Just cos' I want to. :3**


	2. Chapter 2

**07-Ghost**

**Genre: Humour**

**Summary: Teito and the three bishops discuss abput what to do about Frau's depressed state. Teito's ideas are all brutally rejected by Castor, until Lance comes up with a shocking idea.**

**A/n: This chapter is much more entertaining than the first, hehe. Teito realises how much he doesn't know about Frau (poor thing) and Lance shows both his kind and evil side. Labrador doesn't have much of a big role in this chapter, but he will in the end :)**

* * *

After 3 days of a depressed Frau, Teito couldn't take it anymore.

"Gahhh! He doesn't even read his porn magazines anymore! I mean... I know that should be a good thing... But its like he's not even _there_," Teito complained, throwing his hands up into the air in defeat.

He was sitting with Castor and Labrador at the table where they always played their daily game of chess.

"Its natural for you to feel that way. After all, no one likes it when their friend is upset," Castor smiled kindly at Teito.

"It's... It's not like I'm worried or anything! It's just that... It's just strange when he's not being annoying and teasing me!" Teito huffed and crossed his arms, his face burning. Labrador stifled a laugh.

_Ahh... It pains me to see such a beautiful soul tainted by sorrow_, Castor thought.

He offered Teito a kind smile. "Why don't you do something to cheer him up then?"

"That's a great idea! Smart as always, Glasses!" Lance suddenly popped up behind Castor, startling the copper-haired bishop. "Why don't all of us do something to cheer up poor Frau-chan! Isn't that wonderful, Teito-kun?"

"Y... Yeah."

"Fine," Castor sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Since Teito has been with him the longest, what do you suggest we do, Teito-kun?" All eyes turned to him.

"Eh... Something he likes, I guess...?" Teito muttered, shy from the sudden attention.

"Actually... What does Frau-chan like? After all this time together, I've never heard him mention it once," Lance pointed out.

"As much as I hate to agree with the idiot, he's right. Any ideas, Teito-kun?" Castor asked, ignoring Lance's cries of "hey! Who's calling who an idiot!"

"Erm... He likes... Porn... And... And girls... Actually, its never really come up between us before," Teito stammered out, blushing fiercely. _Come to think about it, I don't know anything about Frau, yet he knows just about everything about me!_ Teito thought in shock. At least he knew what he had said was the truth.

The three bishops stared at him in stunned silence.

Castor cleared his throat. "Unfortunately, due to our duty as bishops (he shot a glare at Lance, who looked eager to say something about the topic), we cannot permit either of this things to enter the church, nor can we leave the church to obtain them as well, so we'll just have to think of something else," he said.

Lance suddenly had an idea. "Hey, I know! Frau's the kind of guy who enjoys the complete and utter humiliation of something he hates, isn't he?" he piped up.

"... I guess that may work," Castor grudgingly acknowledged, while Labrador smiled in agreement, glad that the conversation was back on track.

"So... What does Frau hate, Teito-kun?" Labrador asked kindly.

"I know he hates all kinds of dairy products... And vegetables, I think..?" Teito, who was starting to realise just how much he didn't know about the other, once again gave a completely nonsensical and unusable suggestion.

"Believable, but there's only so much we can do to utterly humiliate dairy products and vegetables..." Castor sighed. This was turning out to be a waste of his time, it seemed.

Teito let out a silent groan of frustration. It was his fault that all his ideas had come to naught now! If only he had tried to know Frau better.

Noticing Teito's crestfallen expression, Lance tried to lighten the atmosphere by saying, "maybe Frau has never told you his preferences, but he definitely would have shown it, right? Im sure there's been at least once when he showed disgust at something, or found something particularly annoying..." Lance looked around for inspiration.

Then, his eyes alighted on Castor, and Lance's face lit up with a slightly evil smile.  
Castor blinked at Lance momentarily in confusion, before his eyes widened as realization struck him.

"Eh... Eh?!"

* * *

**A/n: And that's it! Castor realises what a big mistake he's made in agreeing to this idea XD but its too late for him now. Labrador doesn't say much, but he'll play an important role in the next chapter. So please read, review and enjoy!**


	3. Chapter 3

**07-Ghost**

**Genre: Humor**

**Summary: Lance almosts gets throttled by Castor for suggesting... Crossdressing?! **

**A/n: Once again, poor Labrador has almost nothing to say :( However, I can promise lots of entertainment and fun from Castor and Lance xD**

* * *

"Alright, this is what I've thought up of, for Plan Cheer-Up-Frau!" Lance announced grandly, throwing open the doors to his closet.

Teito, Castor, Labrador and Lance were gathered in Lance's bedroom to decide the best ("and most appropriate," as Castor said, glaring at Lance) plan to snap Frau awake from his depressed state.

"I borrowed them from a nearby theatre, so we have to return them later," Lance grinned sheepishly.

As Castor had known (but had not fully expected Lance to actually decide on such a ridiculous idea), he flung open the closet to reveal a multitude of long-haired wigs, jewellery, and... Dresses?!

A vein popped out on Castor's temple, and his eye twitched.

A second later, Teito and Labrador were using all their strength just to hold him back from jumping on Lance to "pound some sense into that hugely empty head of that... That _nincompoop_!"

"We're _bishops_, Lance!" Castor practically yelled at him. "We don't... Don't... _Crossdress_!" he practically spat out the word in the blond bishop's face.

Lance cowered in a corner, trembling pitifully, while Labrador blocked Lance from Castor's view, trying to get him to calm down. "Now, now, Castor, calm down or people may hear us! Shh!" Labrador soothed. To Teito's eyes, it looked more like a bullfighter standing in front of an extremely furious, charging bull.

"Actually, I don't mind," Labrador said pleasantly. Castor froze. Just when he was about to launch into another tirade about why bishops and crossdressing should not even exist side by side in this world, Labrador interrupted, "its for a friend isn't it? I don't mind since its to cheer up Frau. Right, Teito-kun?"

"If Labrador-san is fine with it, I'm fine too, Castor-san," Teito smiled pleadingly.

Unable to argue against his best friend and the innocent look Teito was giving him, Castor smiled through gritted teeth and braced himself for the worst.  
Plan "Humiliate the thing (Castor) which Frau hates the most" was underway.

That night (Castor had refused to "commit such a soul-tainting act" in broad daylight), Teito found Frau in his room, lying in the pose of a dead person in his coffin. The curtains were drawn and his entire room looked untouched, almost as if he had been in that position for days.

And he looked as if he hadn't slept for days either.

"What do you want, brat? I'm not in the mood to play now," Frau growled half-heartedly when Teito tried to get him to come to Lance's room.

"You'll like it, I promise!" Teito said, dragging Frau along. He hadn't been able to resist Teito after all, despite feeling like a vampire and felt a burning need to shy away from the nightlights in the corridor along the bishops' rooms.

"I don't think I'm in the mood to "like" anything right now," Frau muttered, but Teito paid no heed to him.

Upon reaching Lance's room, which was pitch dark due to the lights being switched off and the curtains drawn, Teito left Frau standing at the doorway (he closed the door of course), and disappeared behind a screen in Lance's room.

"Hey... Brat! What the hell are you leaving me here for?!" Frau called, but since he felt too dispirited to leave, he sat cross-legged on the floor and waited.

Suddenly, a single light came on in the middle of Lance's room. The man himself appeared, dressed in a long sleeved, puffy-skirted yellow dress, orange stilettos, and a long, curly blonde wig which perfectly matched his long, equally curly blonde fringe., the current favourite look of many high-society women recently. Frau's eyes bulged out in barely-contained shock.

"I hereby present to you, Lance and the Three Maidens! I am the court lady Miss Cassandra!" Lance announced. (That was a name he had come up with on the spot).

Labrador and Teito joined him on the stage. "Next, the ethereal-looking Miss Athena!" Lance crowed, gesturing towards Labrador. Labrador was wearing a flowing, silvery-blue dress, brown greek-style sandals, and silver armbands. A long, white-haired wig flowed down his back to his waist, and a small white hairpiece adorned with blue violets sat prettily on his head. He truly looked like a beautiful goddess.

Needless to say, Labrador was the most successful in looking relatively feminine, as compared to Lance and Teito, who looked like a little girl with two brown ponytails at either side of his head, in a puffy-sleeved and puffy-skirted orange dress which looked too large on him due to his small stature. Teito, of course, was blushing prettily, which just made him fit more with his "little-girl" role. Frau smirked upon seeing Teito, which earned him an embarrassed glare in return.

"The shy young mistress of the house, Miss Nancy!" Everyone could tell that Lance was enjoying himself, coming up with names and roles for them.

Frau was grinning widely now, unable to contain his amusement after seeing everyone in those getups. _Now if that stupid glasses were to join in, then that would just be the icing on the cake, _Frau thought gleefully to himself.

… _Nah. That law-abiding nerd would never participate in this kind of thing, _he told himself.

_Wait a minute… Wasn't it Lance and the _Three _Maidens? _Frau realised in shock. He looked towards the middle of Lance's room again, where a fourth figure was emerging from behind the screen.

_Don't tell me… That nerd seriously… _Frau could not wait to see this.

* * *

**A/n: Like I said, Labrador doesn't say much. But he always knows what to say at the most important of times (e.g. when Castor was about to beat up Lance). Can't blame him though- Lance can get rather annoying at times xD Next chapter! We will see some cuteness between Frau and Teito! I love it when they're together, its always so sweet. That's why it pained me to write the first chapter :3**


	4. Chapter 4

**07-Ghost**

**Summary: They finally implemented the Plan! Frau's reaction and Castor's humiliation.**

**A/n: I can't believe I uploaded evrything in a day :D And the cuteness between Frau and Teito at the end! Just... SQUEEEEE! 3**

* * *

"And last, but not least, our stuck-up lady of the night, Missus Castiella!" Lance made a sweeping motion with his hand, gesturing at the fourth and final person, who had just stepped into the spotlight.

He was wearing the most elaborate costume of all. A black and red dress swept past his feet, trailing on the floor, puffy sleeves decorated in silver embroidery. He wore black gloves and carried a peacock-plume fan, which he opened to hide half his face as he stepped out. The sounds of high-heeled shoes tapping on the wooden floor could be clearly heard as he made his way carefully to the middle of the room. Glittering jewellery dripped from is neck and fingers, sparkling In the light, and a thick, luscious red ponytail cascaded past his shoulder, almost touching the floor.

Behind the colourful fan, Castor shot a look which promised torture and a painful death at Lance, who swallowed slightly.

The silent exchange of looks between the red-haired and blonde "maidens" was suddenly interrupted by a sound which lifted Teito's heart.

It was the sound of Frau's laughter.

Loud, uncontrollable, tear-producing, breathless laughter.

"This… This is… I can't… Even…" Frau spluttered, unable to form coherent words as he rolled around on the floor in fits of laughter.

Seeing Frau with a smile (a ear-to-ear, face-splitting grin, actually)) on his face, Teito, Labrador and Lance started smiling as well, and soon they were all in fits of uncontrollable giggles. Even Castor smiled upon seeing his friends so happy.

After they had all stopped laughing, they all sat in a circle in the middle of the room, wiping tears of laughter from their eyes.

"You guys did all that? For me?" Frau asked in shock after he was told of their reason for seemingly random crossdressing.

"Yep! It was all so that you wouldn't be depressed! But it was Teito-kun's idea to cheer you up in the first place," Lance grinned. Frau looked towards the young boy, still in his orange dress and long wig.

"It… It was nothing. So do you…. Do you feel cheered up now?" Teito asked, his face a scarlet red.

"Yeah. Thanks, brat," Frau said, ruffling Teito's hair, who immediately turned a shade deeper, if that was possible. Frau smirked at his reaction.

"I'm glad you feel better, Frau. Teito was quite depressed himself," Labrador said in his gentle, lilting tone.

Frau lifted an eyebrow at that.

"Great. Can we take off these ridiculous costumes and go to bed now?! If not we'll definitely oversleep and be late for Mass tomorrow," Castor growled, itching to rip off and forget completely about what was most definitely the most "utter and complete humiliation" of his (after)life.

Frau snorted. "Why don't you keep it on, it suits you pretty well, actually, _Miss Castiella_", Frau remarked smugly.

Labrador and Lance quickly pinned Castor's arms to his sides and frog-marched him to the toilet to change out of their costumes before another fight could ensue, leaving Teito and Frau alone in the room.

Frau was the one who broke the silence. "Thanks, brat. I guess Labrador told you why I was depressed?'

"Yeah. I feel like no one, not even the Seven Ghosts, should suffer like that… And besides… It hurts when I see any of my friends upset," Teito smiled, remembering Castor's words from the day before.

Frau looked at him in surprise. Then he smiled to himself. "You've finally matured, brat," he ruffled Teito's hair again. "Though I think you'll be this height forever."

"Hey!"

Frau laughed. "Go get changed out of that ridiculous outfit, then we'll see you off to your room."

Watching the (rather cute) exchange, Castor, Labrador and Lance smiled.

_In the shadows, the Seven Ghosts watch._

* * *

**A/n: Awww! I love Frau and Teito! And Castor is just... Poor thing xD It's sweet he's willing to go to that extent for Frau though :)**

**Bonus chappie coming up! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**07-Ghost**

**Genre: Humour**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**Summary: Bonus chapter! Focusing more on Lab-chan (and poor Castor-kun), as promised :)**

**A/n: Hi there! I'm real sorry about the reallyyyyyy late update. I've been so busy studying for the exams and stuff, and my parents kinda have a "no-computer" rule during exam periods... Well, but that's all over now (for the moment). So withut further ado, I present to you the promised bonus chapter! :3**

* * *

Labrador woke up to find himself in the bushes again. It wasn't his fault, it was just that he had felt so cold, and he just went to sleep...

Despite the freezing cold which was lulling him back into slumber, he forced himself to get up and return to his rooms. If Castor or *Weida found him sleeping in the cold again, they would worry, and he did not want that.

_Hmm... Its been happening more often lately..._ He mused to himself as he walked. He assumed, from the colour of the sky, that it was near midnight now.  
But as he walked along the corridor leading to the bishops' rooms, he saw something that made him swiftly and soundlessly slip behind a pillar, and peered out in front of him.

Further ahead, a dark figure was dragging another limp figure along the corridor, heading to god-knows-where. Deciding that the distance was too far to attack, Labrador decided to stay hidden as he carefully inched his way, pillar by pillar, towards the intruder.

Labrador really had no idea where the intruder was going, especially with a (presumably) dead body, since there was nothing up ahead except for more bishops' rooms.

The intruder made absolutely no sound, not even a breath, and Labrador assumed he had to be pretty strong to not even be breathless.

_Drag. Rustle. Drag. Rustle.  
_

The sounds of the intruder dragging the body and the rustling of his robes echoed eerily through the corridor.

_...Robes?!  
_

Labrador darted out from the pillar he was behind, poised to attack, just as the person (bishop?) was illuminated by a shaft of moonlight passing through the window.

He was right- the intruder was in a bishop's clothing, long white cassock over dark blue cassock, complete with the simple mitre with its veil falling over his face.  
Startled brown eyes, hidden behind a pair of round glasses turned to meet his dark violet ones. Labrador's eyes widened in recognition.

"Castor?"

* * *

Seeing his friend, Castor's expression relaxed, then freeing a hand from the limp figure he was dragging, he placed a finger on his lips.

"Shh, Lab, you might wake someone. Come over and help me with this," he whispered.

"What are you doing? And so late at night too?" Labrador whispered back, warily making his way towards Castor, visibly relaxing when he noticed that the "body" was just another of his puppets. But what was he doing out here with it anyway?

Labrador's eyes lingered on the puppet. Actually, the puppet looked a little familiar, but it was too dark to see clearly...

"I'll explain later. Help me open my room door," Castor dragged the puppet into his room, Labrador holding the door open for him. _Somehow, even though I know I'm not, I feel like I'm an accomplice in committing a crime, Labrador thought in exasperation.  
_

Letting the door swing close with a soft click, Labrador flicked on the light switch. Light flooded the once pitch-dark room.

_Ahh,_Labrador thought. He knew why the puppet looked familiar now. Castor had given it spiked blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and a sleeveless navy-blue shirt and black pants. And most unmistakable of all was the smug, cocky smile that had always annoyed Castor to no end painted on its face.

However, the lifelike Frau doll was also severely battered and its limbs were hanging from their joints by little more than a thread.

What on earth had Castor been doing with it? Labrador chewed his lip in worry as he followed Castor, still dragging the doll to the built-in workshop in his room. Opening the door, Castor unceremoniously flung the doll inside with a loud clatter of wood on wood.

Labrador's eyes grew wide as he stared around the workshop. Hung up on the walls all around the room were exact copies of the Frau doll, all leering creepily down at him. If he had bothered to count, Labrador was sure that there were over 30 of those things.

All the dolls looked exactly alike, including the damage and mutilation that had befallen their wooden bodies. Every single one of them were covered in scratches, scorch marks and splintered holes.

A sweatdrop formed on Labrador's temple as he realised what Castor had been doing every night since the crossdressing "incident". He had built the dolls just so that he could vent his pent-up hatred of Frau on them by smashing them to pieces every night.

A particular doll at the very back of the closet looked more battered than the rest, as its head was dangling unnaturally from its neck and it was missing an arm and leg, undoubtedly smashed to splinters. He guessed that it must have been the very first object to suffer the full wrath of Castor's rage.

Labrador had found it strange that Castor hadn't beaten Frau to a pulp yet, despite the latter's endless teasing now that he had recovered from his depression.

It seemed that Castor had found a better way of "anger therapy" then. Out of the corner of his eye, Labrador saw a large, blown-up photo of Frau (how on earth did he get that?!) on Castor's wall, almost entirely covered in darts.

Well, more than one way of anger therapy, it seemed.

Suddenly, Labrador noticed that Castor was kneeling over the doll, clutching a small knife which he had pulled out of his sleeve until his knuckles had turned white, his shoulders shaking.

"Ca... Castor? Are you okay?" Labrador asked, alarmed.

Seeming not to hear him, Castor begin to stab the doll mechanically, lamenting to himself as he did so.

"It's been- *stab*- a week already! -*stab*- Does he have to keep- *stab*- reminding me?! As if I don't feel humiliated enough already! *stab* If I get my hands on him tomorrow- *stab*-, I'll give him hell like he's never known..." *stab stab stab stab*

Labrador realised that Castor had entirely forgotten he was there, and left to return to his room.

Just as he reached the door, he heard one last lament from Castor, softer and punctuated by a single stab.

"So this is what I get for- *stab*- helping a friend..." The copper-haired bishop muttered angrily. Labrador stifled a laugh and, smiling softly, returned to his room, where his own dress and wig had been lovingly hung on a mannequin and hidden at the back of the closet. He recalled Castor's own costume was displayed in the similar manner, except for the fact that it was surrounded by an army of mutilated wooden puppets.

_Maybe Castor cares more about Frau then he cares to let on,_Labrador smiled as he thoughtfully as held the dress against himself.

_Actually, this looks pretty good on me...  
_

* * *

Castor paused mid-stab, suddenly remembering something.

_Eh? Wasn't Lab here just now? Must have just been my imagination... But I swore I saw him.  
_

Shrugging, Castor tossed the doll into the closet and went to bed, thinking about ways to make "living hell" a reality for both Lance and Frau the next day.

_*Weida: Labrador's apprentice after he passed the bishop exam. They share something like a mother-son relationship, and the roles of mother and son alternate between the two, with Weida often having the mother's role._

* * *

**A/n: And this story is done! I hope you guys enjoyed it, cos I had lots of fun writing it! Thank you for all the favourites, follows and reviews you all have given me for every story I've written so far! You guys really motivated me to write more stories/oneshots. Thank you for supporting! :)**

**Also, I've just noticed all the spelling mistakes in my previous chapters, and have just edited all of them. Reall sorry about that! I hope it wasn't too horrible to read **


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